Immediately alter my appearance as dramatically as possible. Scrounge up as much cash as possible. Pack enough food and water to not die for 5 days and get a go-bag going. Get rid of cell phone. Bring books. Bring bolt cutters. Bring basic tools, particularly a flathead screw driver. Bring all kinds of layers. Socks. Compass. Sleeping bag. Whatever available drugs that'll help keep you sedate whilst hiding. Maps (if you even have them anymore). I'm saying bring the laptop, but that'd probably be what fucks me.
Assuming I'll be fucked goofy if I try to use my own car, I'll go to the movies. Once at the movie theater, there are 2 options.
Option 1: seek out a woman with a purse who seems likely to be easily distracted and careless. Sit behind the mark, and seek out opportunities to steal the purse once the theater goes dark and gets loud. Either try to just ninja that shit, or if that doesn't seem possible create a distraction somehow and do some sleight of hand shenanigans to get the purse (you could walk by with a jacket in hand and use that to cover the grab maybe?), get her car keys, and return the purse under the seat. Leave the theater, steal the car, grab your go-bag, and get on the road. You've got 1-2+ hours head start before the car is reported stolen.
Option 2: Requires knowing how to actually steal cars. Since the wire thing seems confusing, seek out older cars, preferably convertibles (because they're rarely locked/can be entered easily), on a lot of older cars you can use a screw driver to remove the key ignition and actually start it with the screw driver. Probably best to google how to do this before you try it.
Both options are sketchy, but you probably need a car that isn't yours.
Or fuck all that shit and:
Option 3: In the morning, steal a set of license plates from an office park parking lot. Slap those fuckers on your car, and you've got 6-10 hours before anyone would notice they were missing. And then get out of town.
On the interstate, make sure not to speed and try and stay in a pack of cars as often as possible. Don't lead the pack (you're the first seen by speed trap cops) and don't sit at the back (if a cop catches up to your pack, you're directly in front of them).
Now that you're away from your known stomping grounds, you want to find somewhere to hide that's off the grid but provides enough protection from exposure. Options I can think of:
1: Using streetview or some other resource, check out cemeteries and find one of those big crypts in an old cemetery like this shit. Make sure it's for someone that died a long time ago, so the chances of family members visiting are low. You ideally need a place where a groundskeeper wouldn't be able to see you inside if they were just passing by. I'm not sure how plausible that truly is.
2: If playing crypt keeper doesn't seem like your thing, you know how when you're driving in farm areas and you see old farmhouses that have been abandoned but not demolished? That could be an option.
3: This is dependent on being near a body of water. There's a few marinas near me where people keep their sail boats moored or docked during the winter. Ideally, find a way to get out to a moored sailboat (probably by stealing a dingy or rowboat from somewhere) or just find an under-kept docked boat. Get in that shit, baton down the hatches, and don't stick your head out the 5 days. Or find a way into a boat warehouse like this shit, climb into a boat with a nice cabin on one of the higher levels, and do the same shit.
4: Assuming it's winter or offseason, do what they did in Fargo and find a vacation lake or beach house or hunting cabin and have yourself a nice time.
