1 year ago I posted here about becoming a bitter incel. You guys helped lift me up, and I met a girl soon after. Last week I said I was gonna marry her, this was her response. Thank you, thank you, thank you for not letting me fall into the incel trap.

thank you for your reply.

I wasn't actually that open about my problems. I was the one who listened and gave occassional advice. Actually, towards the end I completely stopped being emotional open from my side at all. I'd still be honest if asked, but I wouldn't bring up my issues at all. And I don't do that to anyone anymore because I just don't see a point in it.

I'm still the one other people confide in though. But haven't found anyone who tries to be there for me the same way.

I've also been to therapy last year. I went for 3-4 months and it didn't really help unfortunately.

I've also taken anti depressants for more than a year (stopped around april/may though) and it didn't help as well.

So, I've tried everything that people always recommend yet nothing worked.

I am still alone and lonely, I still feel like shit and I still hate myself and wish I was dead.

I've only opened up about my depression to 3 friends, 2 of whom I was close to and who I always listened to when they needed to vent. And I mean nothing to both of them. If I don't contact them then they won't talk to me at all. And most often then not they won't reply to my messages in the first place.

Which is why I stopped messaging them at all.

Anyway, sorry for this long and pointless message, thank you for trying to help but honestly, this mess is just not worth getting into.

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