The problem with this story is although it's well written I just didn't' understand why I'm reading it and what I will get out of it.
So the first thing is the story is very well written. The style of the writing and the way you set it up is very lovely to read. It kept me fascinated.
The problem is I don't know what I am getting out of reading this. Am I reading to know more about suicide because the guy has depression? I think it's important to let yout reader know what type of journey they will be getting themselves into before they invest their time and patience in reading it.
Most people prefer to have a hook at the start but I don't think you need it. Just be great to know what type of story and what kind of journey I will be going through and what kind of category of story I'm reading. Or else I will get bored really fast.