12yo boy struggling

Here's what I think. Every time someone experience something uncomfortable you have about 9 possible reactions. Each reaction requires more effort. You'll go for the one option that seems most likely to succeed with the lowest effort.

  1. Try and ignore it
  2. Use whatever you've prepared for the event
  3. Get your surroundings to alleviate it.
  4. Trade your way out of it
  5. "Work" your way out of it.
  6. Run away from it
  7. Hide from it, or live in parallel to it
  8. Suck it in, accumulate further stress and return to 1
  9. Well I'd rather not mention this one

Every time your son experiences discomfort these are his option. If he gets around the 8th step a lot he will start showing symptoms of stress or depression. First we want him to avoid coming to that step. Second we want him to stay in the top 3 choices, because that enables him to prosper. So. If he can't ignore it and haven't prepared for it, he'll turn to you and try and make you fix it.

Sounds like he's trying to use YT to hide from it whatever bothers him because he's not prepared. My advice is that you prepare him for what ever worries him.

/r/Parenting Thread