14 months ago, my mother used a TRO to force me out of my grandmother's house

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Original Post:

Author: /u/writingallofthewrong

14 months ago, my mother used a TRO to force me out of my grandmother's house

Hi /r/legaladvice, I'm hoping someone can point me in the best direction to move forward with my life. However, I think this needs a bit of context. Be warned, this is a bit lengthy and I'm more than a little sad tonight.

In August of 2014, after years and years of being subject to emotional and physical abuse, my mother -- wholly influenced by her father, who provided her legal counsel -- had me served with a TRO laced with false claims, exaggerations, and outright lies. From what I understand, she was basically a shoe-in to get any kind of restraining order she asked for since she was a divorced, unemployed single-parent with a history of mental illness.

To step back even further and expand on that last part, my mother has had a history with epilepsy, personality disorder, and severe depression. The mixture of those conditions led to a number of trips to the psychiatric ward throughout her life. During this time, it was effectively just her and I. She was a career woman, never going on dates or taking any serious companionship throughout the 18 years I spent with her. This became a major issue for our relationship, as you might imagine, as I began growing up and at the same time she turned to heavy alcohol consumption. When she lost her job, her mother helped her purchase -- and by that I mean, my grandmother purchased a house and let her live in it rent-free -- a house for her and I to live in.

It was during this time that I was subject to extreme emotional turbulence, literally having no idea who was going to come home that night. It was screaming matches, slamming doors, the kind of drama that happens in the worst episodes of family sitcoms except every single day. I don't mean to sound like a completely guilt-free individual, but all I wanted to do was make it through High School.

The police were called to our house more than once. The second time, she had clawed my arm and punched me in the chest. The officer vocally acknowledged that she was drunk at the time, but nothing else became of that.

Back up to 2014, I had been living with my cousin and his wife who so generously taken me in and made sure I had a place to sleep. During this time, I got a job, took the SAT, barely scraped it out of High School, and waited for the court date.

I was laid waste in court.

Her lawyer painted the picture of my domestic abuse, how I berated her and how I made her feel scared. No small measure of her psychiatric history was overlooked, being sure to explain to the judge that she was defenseless and "at the mercy of" this short-tempered, easily-triggered teenager.

Meanwhile, I had no lawyer, and nothing but a poorly-fitting suit and a little statement I prepared to read to the court.

A final injunction was filed, the judge saying that it appears like separation for the two of us is the best decision -- not that I deny that, I had no intention of ever returning to live with my parent after the rest of my family took me in -- and that the final injunction could be lifted in the future.

I grieved for my future for a while, but in general I got on with my life.

Throughout the coming year and change, my mother has repeatedly attempted to contact me via text, email, and through the loving girlfriend who has been my anchor to sanity. I ignored it all and did my best to document every single incident with screenshots and record-pulls. I have never since attempted to contact her. It really seems like at some point it occurred to her that either using the U.S. legal system to get what she wanted is fucked up 6 ways until Sunday, or she regretted doing it at all.

Since that emotionally traumatizing experience that has truly left me in shreds, I've:

  • Moved away, now living in an apartment with roommates a few hundred miles away from my mother.
  • Landed a good-paying, salaried position with upward mobility.
  • Saved money, built credit, and bought a car.
  • Changed my legal name to my biological father's surname.
  • Never contacted her since -- despite her best efforts to get me to.

Since that experience, through word-of-mouth with the little family I still rarely talk to, she has:

  • Assaulted another family member and spent the night in jail.
  • Repeatedly asked about me: where I'm living, what I've done, how I am.
  • Repeatedly tried to contact me, with the last event occurring about 3 months ago.

So, I finally got to the part where I beseech /r/legaladvice for what I should do next.

I want to get the injunction lifted. How can I do that?

The one thing I want to avoid, if at all possible, is ever seeing her again.

I thank anyone in advance for their input, truly. It's taken me a long time to get to a point where I want to do this.

/r/legaladvice Thread