Hi-di-hi!

So Characterisation is a bit deal in this for me, it helps to establish the plot and how the reader is meant to feel about the events; especially in an opening chapter. It's important to not only hook the reader with the events, but also with the characters. Identifying with or being curious about a character is the first step.

Rufus I assume is your MC, this being the case he has some character discrepancies that you may want to look into. At first I saw him as a very cold person:

Heresy or not, corpses were rife with information and he had questions.

But then he hangs around with Jenny (who I assumed was a pony or a donkey, if you want to make this clearer to a reader, mention donkey's ears and describe them and donkey's tails are very different from a pony too.) And even though she is an animal who messes with him he seems to be reluctantly fond or her, and Samson, who is slow.

The problem here is that there is no context of what relationship the characters have.

Example:

Sure he's dim, but Djinn damn him, he was strong as an ox. Terrible dinner conversationalist but I wouldn't have anyone else for a bodyguard. Rufus looked at the shaker's corpse in appreciation of Samson's handy work and emitted a reedy whistle.

Now I know why Rufus keeps Samson around, I can get a better idea of Samson's character and Rufus' character. The same might be needed for Jenny the donkey.

Rufus also shows a range of emotions, which is good for an MC. No one wants a one trick pony (or donkey), but the emotions don't seem consistent enough. If I was on the run, which it sounds like Rufus is...

His brother could get him out of country.

I think he would be a little less angry about the wanted poster and a little more worried.

I won't comment on anything else that other people have said except that I agree wholeheartedly with the suggestion of /u/notfreeadvice in cutting the last line. It makes a dramatic difference.

All this being said you have improved hugely since the original submission of this piece. I did not critique it before but I did read it. The revision is miles above the quality of the original and you've done some fabulous work with the scene and the characters. Congratulations. =]