I (17m) am in love with my best friend (18f) but she has a boyfriend.

If she's "not tricking him," that means she told him that he's a place-holder until she's ready to date you? If he's okay with it, then great. But I'm guess that's not what you meant, and he's oblivious.

As for what she's supposed to do, if she's dating someone exclusively, she's not supposed to commit to other people like she has with you. That's not "restraining her feelings," that's acting with integrity, and not even something she should be 'rewarded' for, but it's just one of the basic minimal expectations in an exclusive relationship - honesty, keeping romantic talk/connections within the boundaries of the relationship, treating each other nicely, etc. She can't even do that, and it's not because your love is so special or some BS. If she's acting with integrity, that means EVERYONE involved in this mess knows what the boundaries, and I'm guessing her BF doesn't.

What I would do in her shoes - if had feelings for a guy who wasn't suitable to date, and then started dating someone else, and then found I still had feelings for the first the guy - I would break up with the current guy, due to having feelings for someone else. It's not that complicated. Even if the other guy wasn't ready to date, having feelings for him would mean to me that I don't feel strongly enough for the current guy, and so again, that means I would break up with the BF. If she's someone who describes herself as polyamorous or wants an open relationship or whatever, and that she can have feelings for two guys at once, to do that ethically, EVERYONE involved needs to know what the boundaries are. So if her BF thinks he's her only BF and that they have "normal" relationship boundaries, then she's just plain old cheating on him. Again, it's not that complicated. She's cheating on him because she's a cheater. She's using him as a place-holder and therefore hurting him, or she's using you for attention and validation, therefore hurting you AND him. He's the victim here. Your circumstances aren't that special or complicated. She's an A-hole.

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