Ok you used the word "dread." Would it be accurate to say "repulsed" is another description you could use? Because if you are repulsed by people expressing a positive opinion of you, you want to get a handle on that before it roots too deep.

I'm inclined to think possibly that it scares you to be accountable to other people. If someone likes you, then you have to decide whether or not you like them back. If a friend chooses you for a friendship now you're kind of ushered on stage to perform to maintain their positive opinion of you. And the idea of meeting those pressures and being accountable to someone's opinion of you is scary and you fear failing, or not reciprocating what they're looking for.

I don't know what it's like to be neurally atypical, but with or without that your parent's abusive relationship is obviously going to have an impact on your feelings towards getting into relationships - of any kind - with other people. You have not had a good model of what healthy relationships look like, so it makes sense to freak out when it comes time to have your own relationships with people. How are you supposed to do them? What are you supposed to do?

It sucks that people want to choose you, and their choice in doing so makes you reject them. You have to learn how to turn off those negative feelings at the idea of having relationships with others, which you do appear to want. I think this problem is a bit above the random-advice pay grade and you'll have to find a specialist who has better suggestions. Good luck!