[18] [L] I feel so alone

[Part 1 of 3]

Checked your username to maybe find more info about you. Looks like that's the only post.

29 post karma 0 comment karma

redditor for 5 months

So you deleted whatever you got those 29 points for. Plus no comment points from anywhere. 5 months is better than a recent throwaway.

Ok so what do we have going on here. I see an 18. The L means looking to chat. Doesn't say male or female. Very little info to go on to try and analyze your situation. Let's go with what we got though.

What do we got you talking about here.

You have nobody, no real friends.

First thing.. I'm 45. When I was your age, I used to have friends from high school. Hung out a bit a few years afterwards but they drift away depending what's going on. When you work jobs, you don't wanna go running around after work. Then weekends, I was working weekend nights. So they just all got gradually phased out.

Who are friends anyways.. where do you meet them. Gets a little tricky as you get older. Often people hang out with those they went to school with.

Work, it's a bit of a problem trying to be "friends" with people you work with. Often times they're all uptight. Just because you hang around with them during the job, doesn't mean they're "pals". You have to get along but some may think it goes too far when you think you also have to hang out after work.

Just the "small-talk" on breaks can get annoying. It's like, I don't wanna be your buddy, I'm here for the job. Just because we're forced to be around, doesn't mean I think you're "cool". Lots of these co-workers are "losers" and that's their life. They're good at their job, but if it wasn't for being forced to be around them, they wouldn't be "friends".

People from jobs there, they never tend to make real friends. Usually ones from school, might be better. Might have grown up around them as a kid. Maybe a neighbor.

The work thing, you're forced to be around these people that some boss decided to hire. Now all of a sudden because they got hired, now we gotta be "pals"?

The worst is those who get involved having sex with people they work with. Odds are it doesn't last, meanwhile you have to be around them after. Never get involved with co-workers.

Back in school, it's unrealistic to think you can be friends with everybody. Some people are just not good people. If somebody's a chump, analyze their situation. You may find why they're fouled-up. Might not have anything to do with you. But you may think it's you who's the problem.

Once you get out of school, you get over this need to be friends with everybody you're around. Yeah I'll get along with them during work, but it's unrealistic to think they're buddies. Just because you're forced to be around them and have to kind of get along. But more than that, even Christmas parties.. not interested in extra-curricular hanging out with these people.

If you're 18 and just out of high school, you may feel this need to hang out with people. If somebody doesn't like you, you get all offended. Thinking, oh, something's wrong with me.

Well, analyze them.. they're probably frustrated about something that has nothing to do with you. If you're fair with others, and somebody doesn't like you, could be it's them who's not a good person.

As you get older you get over this need to be friends with people. Often times when people always hang out with others during their spare time, they can't handle it when they're alone. Why, because then it sets in that their life sucks. So they go out all the time. It's like a distraction. Women are pretty bad for that, going out all the time, or always needing a boyfriend.

If you don't have anybody to hang out with, you may be faced with being alone and thinking about how your life sucks. That's what the problem is, is how your life sucks. This is where that loneliness comes from. This is why you don't like being alone, because you're faced with how your life needs fixing. Meanwhile they think the problem is nobody's around. No, it's that your life sucks that's the problem.

So perhaps you'd need to fix your life and you wouldn't be all lonely when you're by yourself. That's a long term project. You have to be consistent and have discipline. Can't be wasting time on the addiction to distractions. Those are all the bad habits you do that gets your mind off how your life sucks. You do those because it temporarily feels better. But later they might have negative consequences.

Think hangover. But yeah it was "more fun" in the present. If you didn't do it in the present, you'd think it was "boring" right now. Well that's more not caring about later. Later 'll be now, soon.

/r/KindVoice Thread