Yes, it is tough. All religions do one thing; they relieve stress. They (1) allow believers to share their worries with imaginary beings in the hopes their problems will be solved, (2) gives them hope for an escape from death for themselves and their loved ones, (3) gives them hope for an ultimate justice to those wrongs that go undiscovered and/or unpunished, (4) provides a source of socialization when believers gather for worship or social events, (5) tells them that another life awaits and therefore this life and its problems are temporary, and (6) gives them a purpose to focus on. Believers don't even realize this. All of these things relieve stress, so it is no wonder that religions are attractive to so many people, and that many believers fight so hard to protect them.

What you are experiencing is loss of all of this. It is a death of sorts, and you are going through stages of grieving. There are five stages denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are part of the process whereby we our learn to live with the loss. The bargaining part is what we do with ourselves to come to arrive at acceptance.

So, what you are experiencing is quite normal and expected. The great thing is, you can now prioritize the things you want in life, where you believe you can make the biggest difference. And if you don't believe you'll find satisfaction in that, just see how you feel when you experience someone's happiness when you help them out with a problem, and I mean a real problem. By doing that, you have eased their suffering, and you have made a real difference in someone else's life. For me, that is incredibly gratifying.

As for death, I know that it will be no different than before I was born, and I will never suffer emotionally or physically ever again. That is actually a relief.