I [19/F] have only ever read hentai and don't know how to have sex with my new girlfriend [18/F].

I’m a lesbian. I’m married to my wife for 20 years but, prior to that I had about 20 other partners of the entire range of lesbians femme to butch. Number 1: It would be best for BOTH of you to tell her you’re relatively inexperienced. I’ve been the inexperienced one and I’ve been the experienced one. Women aren’t like men, it doesn’t scare them off, it usually leads to a lot more care and consideration as you progress sexually. No woman, including myself has ever been freaked out by another woman saying they’re new to the sexual aspect.

Part 2:

Hold hands. Start by hand holding, entwining you’re fingers, gently stroking her arms. LOOK IN HER EYES, smile. Etc.

Kiss her. Be tender and just be IN THE MOMENT. Let yourself feel how lovely it is to have your soft lips touching hers. Lightly tease her lips with your tongue. If she opens her mouth, permission is granted to kiss deeper. Stay in the moment. Just keep present.

Caressing. As you’re kissing, you’ll naturally feel like stroking and caressing your GF. Stroke her arms, her back, her face, gently, attentively. LISTEN TO HER BREATHING and VOCAL CUES. These can be subtle or REALLY clear. But, 99% of the time, they are there and they let you know if what you’re doing is pleasurable.

Follow her lead. If she caresses you’re breasts, caress hers. If she moans and leans into you, this is a signal to do more. If she hasn’t caressed your breasts, moaning and leaning in is another signal that you could move to something more like breasts or ass or feather your fingers around the waist of her pants, teasing your fingers against her skin. If you’re unsure, you can always ask, “Is this okay?”

You might have sex the first time you engage in sex and foreplay. You might not. It’s okay for YOU to set the pace if you want to go slower. It’s completely normal and acceptable.

Sex. I’m not into penetration. I don’t know about other lesbians but, oral sex is a no brainer. You really can’t go wrong. Again, start slow, lots of kissing and touching. With your fingers, tease your hand down to her clitoris, make teasing passes at her labia, pull the wetness up to her clitoris, gently make a pass around it. With oral sex, You’ll use your tongue to repeat what your fingers did. It’s very erotic to hear your lover moan with pleasure when they taste or smell your nether regions. In my experience it almost always smells and tastes wonderful. So, don’t be scared. Women don’t smell like fish, but it’s a lovely light musky scent. I mean, it can be a real turn on if you have a healthy appreciation of female anatomy and don’t have a negative male view of “female scents.” Yes, some women have a stronger scent, and some are not great, but it’s rare.

LISTEN TO THE CUES. Again, breathing, moaning, body movement, will all help guide you to the correct rhythm as she builds to climax. Generally start slow, light and teasing and build to faster and harder toward the end. It also helps to broaden your tongue to cover more at the end because you are more certain of maintaining pressure and contact on the area that she most needs in order to orgasm. As she climaxes, continue with the pressure and tongue movement because she may well have a second orgasm. When she collapses back on the bed that’s when you stop. OR, she’ll put her hand on your head and pull away to let you know.

Please tell her the truth. This is your best option for avoiding an uncomfortable or awkward first time. In the lesbian world there’s no shame in being inexperienced. There’s no negative attitude towards virgins. We have ALL been there.

/r/relationship_advice Thread