I’m sorry to hear all of this. My stbxh has extreme anger issues, though I was okay with it until he turned it on our infant son.

One thing I wanted, more than anything, was just an apology. For him to admit he was wrong, and although we both made many mistakes, I just wanted to see him make some meaningful changes, for our sons sake.

He has not, if anything he may have gotten worse, his narcissistic ways only more prominent now.

You however sound like someone who had some issues and have made some wonderful changes. I think your stbxw is likely missing an emotional support role that you provided for her, she may even be seeing that things were not as black and white as she painted them. I commend you for you owning up to your mistakes and choices and making changes.

In the end, it’s likely not about blame, as I’m sure you’ll find she played a larger role than she can admit.