Hey thanks for the reply,,

I think one hurdle for me before I get to those steps are to find people that are similar to me.

I had a realisation last year after entering uni, that my current group of friends were just people I spent a lot of time with.

They are essentially my friends because we spent about three years together, and we had a past together.

After being split up from them due to university, there were so many differences between me and them.

The things that make me happy are creating things (I make things from polymer clay), trying to understand people and the world in general.

However, they're still very much into celebrity gossip, social media - which ofc is fine but... it's kind of all they do..

I think it's because there hasn't been anything that's really made them uncomfortable with themselves, so they're quite content with being the way they are.

On the other hand with me, I'm constantly trying to improve myself, find the things I lack and try to find out why etc.

So I'm in a bit of a dilemma between being "myself", and being this person that everyone knows me as.

I dont think one single person I know, really "knows" me so... I feel like it would be a terrible thing if I suddenly do a 180 on them.

(But at the same time, I shouldn't feel this way because it's my fault I don't let them "find" out things about me)

But thanks for your tip, I'm going to try and balance some things out and try harder in finding people that are similar to me.

I think all this is hitting me extra hard because I never learned to cope with it before my cat died. He was kind of my solace at home when things weren't that great, and now with the changes in schooling environment and understanding myself - it's like I've been thrown in the deep end.

Again, thanks for you reply