20 year Existential Depression. Coping with awakening at an early age.

Existential Depression has only a physical solution social_chameleons.

You can't think your way out of this. Decide now that you are awakened, you do not need to work on climbing any higher. You have reached the promised land, and now you must do everything in your power to find out how to "plug yourself back in" and shape this highest layer of reality we find ourselves in.

I'm at a stage where I'm awake but my brain is balanced and plugged back in. Philosophy, knowledge.. these once the only areas I traversed and respected... are now "the plumbing of life" to me. Life and reality has to work somehow. Does it really matter how?? I don't care about the plumbing, this experience is so incredible I have all that I need.

The next time you find yourself entering a depressive mood. Step back outside of the moment and observe your mind. Realise that it's a physical problem. You felt find a moment before and you learned nothing since.

Try everything. The path to plugging yourself back in and forgetting all this pain, is different for each person with different states and starting positions.

My personal experience was that I needed to abstain from masturbation and sex for 18 months until I felt my brain was 100% balanced. More so, I needed to "get" spirituality completely. I studied Osho a lot during this, and with the sexual abstinence I felt like I was separate from me. I really felt as though I was floating and observing myself after six months. The first time I ejaculated this weight on the front of my head lifted and I became "one" for the first time. Ego has been completely killed via fasting and meditation over these 18 months. The abstinence separated me from my emotion while the mind instead became much more troublesome, now that I overcame and experienced those in such extremes, I have total control now and life is bliss.

I also stick to a strict keto diet (almost zero carb and zero salt). If I drop out of ketosis I can become depressed. In keto my mind is quiet and I have more energy than I could ever have imagined. Experimenting with food and supplements can make a huge difference. You basically need to push through and ignore your depression until at least you physically feel fantastic. Like you just want to get up and jump around because physically you feel so amazing. You think you will give a shit about philosophy and negative thoughts if you feel so good?

I do 1.5 hours cardio 6 days a week and lift after each session as well. I also sorted out all of my "life" problems in case those were causing the depression, got my degree and won awards in an area I love that pays well, developing a creative dream (so goals and development of both left and right brain areas) and educated myself on theredpill subreddit to reprogram myself along with Osho leading my studies for spirituality.

I've been to the darkest places man and started at nothing (spent weeks curled in a ball in my room alone starving myself, just from the pain of existence), if you haven't tried all of this after 20 years you only have yourself to blame. You need to take action one step at a time. Check out "the untethered soul" book. Any way this post is a bit of a ramble, just sending on the things that helped me and I wish you the best of luck in your path to find happiness.

/r/awakened Thread