You might have a higher pain tolerance than me. But yes, it's been a matter of both looking forward to and dreading each session, and it's something I've had to tough it out through. The lingering discomfort afterwards isn't bad at all, but when I'm on that table, I remind myself that the excruciating pain in the moment will become nothing more than a memory the moment the session is over.

When I'm on that table, I also have extremely negative thoughts running through my head, including an intense rage from the fact that the need for this agony could have been avoided entirely if I had the knowledge and support that I needed when I needed it, rather than having lived a life where my greatest wish since age five has been to die, but I try to drown these thoughts out as festering in my own wrath is unhealthy.