I was verbally, physically abused by my dad growing up. it was very bad in our house. I didn't talk to him for years. One day I decided to just forgive him. I couldn't forget what he did, but for MYSELF I forgave him to release that heavy burden. I now talk to him, he professes his love to me. he says I am his little princess daughter, blah blah blah. on facebook professes his love to his daughter on fathers day, birthdays etc. I let him meanwhile I don't feel anything really. if anything, I feel inconvenienced when he calls me. I feel bad I feel that way, but it is what it is. I grew up praying to God everyday my dad would be a real dad and love me. so now, he wants my love, it is just beaten out of me. I talk to him to keep in touch with my grandma, nephews etc. but honestly, it would sometimes just be easier not to. I go month or two without talking to him.

just saying. maybe consider "forgiving" your mom to be able to see them. maybe she will allow you. I would try if it was my brother I Wanted to see and couldn't. but that is just me.

just giving you my perspective. I Was in your shoes. I eventually just got rid of burden, altho I do still have built up frusturations at him. I love my mom to death I pray for her and worry every day for her and would do anything for her. my dad... I am not so sure. but I don't tell him to save the drama. maybe save the drama. sorry if I make no sense.