Hopefully, this doesn't sound like I'm trying to justify my actions because after the realization I knew it would most likely end my relationship, but its more of like I don't know how to approach it. The issue is I already had a deeply intimate friendship with her prior to me officially dating my boyfriend, a lot of deep sharing and one-on-one moments were normal. She's my closest friend off my sports team, a lot of I guess what would be perceived as romantic between opposite sexes, were very platonically normal for me to do with my friends. I feel like the line gets blurry with other girls, I've cuddled and held hands with my friends and it was perfectly normal and I didn't feel anything. I'm just touchy with people who I'm comfortable with. Being in a team with all girls, I just got used to skinship between other girls even if I had no sexual attraction or romantic inclination to them in particular.

I feel like it was hard since I floated in a grey zone with him (we were friends with benefits) so long I didn't know if he felt anything emotionally and it made me really happy to hear he wanted something romantic. Now, its complicated because what I'd usually share or do with my friend now just seems different. It took me awhile to realize why it was different. I'm also having trouble coordinating when to break up with him since we're both really busy and our schedules don't line up.