Pretty much every break-up I've experienced affected me more than it should. Sometimes I accept that as part of who I am, and sometimes I think it is something I could/should fix. One guy in particular stands out, and the situations have some similarities. We met randomly in my city -- he was visiting for just a weekend, coming from elsewhere in the state -- and had an unbelievably strong connection (physical, emotional, and intellectual). He asked me to visit him before he deployed (he was headed to Iraq, this was back around 2006) and of course I said ok. I took a few days off from work, booked a hotel, and met up with him. I could tell something was "off" -- he didn't want to take any pictures together, and sometimes he'd disappear when he got a phone call -- but I ignored all the signs and tried to enjoy our time together. And I did, very much. But when I got back to my city I learned (through social media) that he had another girl visiting him, somebody from his hometown that he already knew. I guess between the time I met him and the time I visited him, he struck up a romance with her. But he didn't tell me. Instead, we had sex for days on end (she didn't know about me, either) and had all sorts of deep conversations.

It's almost a decade later, and sometimes it still hurts. He was never my boyfriend, and given how different we were, not somebody I'd conceivably end up with. I've since married an amazing man who loves me dearly and would NEVER treat anybody like that guy treated me. But I still remember how much I cried, and how much it hurt.

I've heard very good things about this book: The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life Since everything turned out well for me and I feel kinda silly about being so hurt over that situation, I never read it myself. But, if you wanted to, we can start a mini bookclub and read it together and discuss through PMs, email, whatever helps. It would probably do me some good too. :-)