You need to go for therapy so that the real reason as to why you have so much anger and resentment in you can be discovered.

There could be a myriad of reasons as to why you feel angry and resentful, but because there is no context to the anger that you feel, you try to find context in a way that makes sense to you.

Sometimes people can experience depression, but have no context for that depression, so they try to find context for it in or outside their lives that makes. Sometimes people have anger and rage, but have no context as to why they have so much anger and rage, so they try to find context inside or outside of their lives.

Having emotions is one thing, how you express those emotions is something very different. I also want to mention that it is ok to feel the way you feel. It is ok to feel resentful. It is ok to feel desperate. It is ok to feel angry. On the other hand, if you do not understand these emotions, the anger, the resentment, the desperation, the depression, then you will attempt to express them in a manner that will be destructive and/or illogical, not only for yourself, but also for other people.

I know you are going to get a lot of flack for being emotionally honest, even though you do not fully understand your emotions and have found an illogical context (though seemingly logical context from your perspective) for your emotions. Hopefully you will go and get help so you can understand yourself.