OP, I know this is not the same but my mom calls me a guinea in anger all of the time when she's mad at me, she loves me but says what she know will cut me to the core.(I've actually stopped letting it bother me, because I know she's just being a moron). The N word is much worse though, and your situation much different. I can't imagine the betrayal you must feel. But maybe, if you're gracious enough, and honestly you'd be a better person than me if you were, but maybe bring this up to her? Maybe she doesn't realize what a flaming pile of shit her friend is? Maybe she's ignorant? Though I can't see how being the parent of a black child you could be ignorant to the atrocities of racism, but maybe she is? I dunno, as your mom that word should hurt her more than it hurts you. I can't for the life of me understand why people use that disgusting word. Or continue to hate people based on ethnicity/color. For your mom to be involved in a conversation where that word is used must be incredibly hurtful, OP. I'm sorry that you saw that; I really am. And I'm sorry that some people are fucking ignorant, heartless, idiots. And if you'd like I'd be happy to use my guinea temper to tell you mom's asshole friend a thing or two ;) I kid of course.