Honey, it sounds like you are all overwhelmed, and your mom most of all. Everyone has a breaking point and I think your mom reached hers. Her responsibilities are overwhelming even to read about.

I understand she's resisted getting government help until now, but it does sound like you all need it desperately, your dad, your sister, your brother, you and your mom. Especially your mom. She is doing more work than five people combined.

Please call the disability office, and the office that helps to pay for your sister's care, and explain the situation. If you belong to a church, please speak to your pastor. You can also call Adult Protective Services. Even if they are not the specific agency you need, please ask them to recommend where you can go for help. I am sure that between the situation with your dad and with your autistic sister, you must qualify for some kind of help.

Your whole family needs a lot of help to keep going on. I understand you feel a lot of responsibility here, but neither you nor your mom can do it yourselves, even if you can both do part of it. You will need outside help.