You've gotten my attention.

My interests fall primarily under the umbrella of control. It's my fetish, it's my desire. I crave the kind of command you've described, and much more beyond that which I am eager to explore with the right person, a compatible person who is creative, intelligent and eager. All of the elements inside these relationships - sexuality, obedience, mental and physical reform - are to me aspects of control.

Hello. I'm a 28-year-old living on the east coast, and I've been involved in lifestyle BDSM for about four years. I'm a writer. It's how I pay my bills and how I express myself. With that goes being an avid reader, but my other interests involve live music, exploring new cities and whiskey of any qualities. I recently moved out of the South for the first time in my life, but I brought with me my dark desires and lust for dominance.

You've likely received a fair amount of messages by now. I hope at least a few (including mine) are worth your time, but I know from speaking to other women often they are sent by people who don't understand these kinds of relationships aren't just about sex and the sexual gratification of the "dom." This is something I've learned through experience, and by my nature I never would want to hoard pleasure. Mutual growth, mutual exploration and mutual fulfillment are cornerstones of any relationship, and in a dominate-submissive dynamic that is especially true.

Being a novice in the lifestyle can be difficult. Trust is essential to surrender, and that has to be earned and won. Just as I wouldn't expect to hear you call me Sir on a first date, you won't have any expectations set on you before we have established a report and set guidelines for what we hope to achieve.

To be clear, I believe in transformative relationships. They appear in their own time, but I take this seriously and if we work together I know you would do the same. It isn't a game. I do see this as a search for a potential long term partner, and as scary as they are words like love matter even from the beginning. A ship set to sail should at least know its direction of travel if not its destination. But these are things for the future.

I hope we can talk a while and get to know each other before anything serious needs to take place. I think you'll find me bright and courteous, and I'm even extraordinarily charming, wickedly intelligent and super humble. If I have your attention now, too, I hope you'll write me back.

KIK: background.com