I [21/m] am worried that I'm falling out of love with my depressed girlfriend [19/f] and I'm scared I'll make her depression worse.

I understand exactly what you mean. I took a few days off on my own because I had to think because I was starting to roll my eyes at him and not in a good way. I love my guy to shit and I can see myself with him when we’re both old and wrinkly (me deaf, him blind. and he farts a lot too) but I do know some stuff has to change. There were times I was stressed out of my mind and sacrificed some of my work responsibilities to make sure he’s feeling good enough. Because I was scared. That I made myself a golden cage on my own free will. And I’ve been taking on his sadness because I couldn’t stand the thought of him being sad.

I believe that you love her. A lot. Otherwise you’d be out of the mix, and not worried in sleepless nights.

What I would advise you is to take a few days off. You need to have a room to breathe freely and think about what you want and what you feel. Limited or no contact.

Your kindness is very admirable. Tho time is the only thing that no one will ever give you back. The two years will never happen again. And you might end up with a severe depression yourself. I work like a sponge a bit, I will just absorb some of the mood that my partner is projecting.

I have no real experience either, my first proper partner. We’re all doing our best, going with our gut to make it happen in the best way. But do not forget about yourself. Again, her life cannot be dependent on you. It’s great if you would be both adding to each other’s lives but I know this is not exactly how life goes. As long as you feel and see that you’re setting healthy boundaries of some sort, you might feel some relief.

I feel like I’m rambling a bit. Hah, it’s 0130am my time. Long day.

You are most welcome. As a broken person who did therapy years ago, I can only recommend it. For her and for you. Talking to a friend is one, two is strangers on the internet but with all my heart I recommend seeing a professional. I’m not one unfortunately and I can only guess or try guessing how to help you. I wish you all the best

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