I am very disappointed in you. I've seen countless people move on after participating in infidelity. All of them had a better mentality than you do.

Do you want advice and to be treated like a human instead of being degraded? Start by stopping this 'woe is me' nonsense and your decision to participate in self-depreciation. Don't point a finger at others when you've done nothing but go well out of your way to create bad decision after bad decision - including the choice to say cruel things about yourself. You've created sixteen comments over the course of a day. Eleven of your comments contain this sort of undertone about how everyone else is in the wrong, is out to slight you, and how people like your affair partner are to blame for this.

Continue by actually fostering at least some small shred of empathy. Empathy isn't feeling bad or guilty because of all the horrible things you've done. Empathy is reaching within yourself to both examine your experiences and your feelings about them. You should know better than most people how painful it is to be cheated on. You should be able to place yourself into the shoes of other people in these situations very well but you clearly have not. I'm sure the woman who cheated on you with your ex-boyfriend also thought the two of you were distant, so it would be okay to continue, just as you've thought the same with your affair partner and his spouse. Empathy can be used to take that initiative you claimed to have about not wanting to hurt others.

Take charge of your life and come to understand that you're in complete control of how you behave. Each moment you waste pointing a finger at the next redditor, at your affair partner, is just another moment you're neglecting to live and learn. Do not pursue taken people and assume it's okay just because you believe they're becoming distant from a current spouse. Do not hurt others while simultaneously become so preoccupied with your own poor little feelings that you exclude all else.