I personally wouldn't date a woman with eleven prior partners, because I'm not that sort of dude myself and I'm a data freak who's poured over marriage and relationship satisfaction data for years, and sociosexuality consistently turns up as a good predictor.

That said, I'm friends with plenty of women who would consider that number ludicrously sub par for a good life, and that's their prerogative. My older sister is extremely sexually promiscuous and proud of it, and it isn't even a thing to me. Plenty of guys honestly don't give two hoots about a number or history either, it's just not even a factor.

The idea that having heaps of casual sex is totally, or should be totally consequence free, or always actively desired and sought is silly though. For some, probably a decent amount actually, otherwise compatible partners it will be a real deal breaker. And so be it. Thems the breaks. What I see a lot is young women who actively want a relationship sleep around a lot because that's the message they receive and end up hurting their own self esteem. That's a really heart wrenching thing to watch.

Basically. I don't honk we should be encouraging people to have casual sex for its own sake. We should be encouraging people to have casual sex if they actively want it, and encouraging more sociosexuality restrictive people to also feel comfortable seeking restrictive partners. This ex boyfriend is obviously on the restrictive end and needs to learn that not everyone is going to approach sex the sa,e way he does, and that if it's not his penis it's not his business.