I will answer this, although it does feel like you are splitting hairs ......

I can only band the word love with someone if im dating them?

You are not talking about friend or familial love here. You are talking about the love shared within an intimate relationship. Frankly, it feels like you are deluding yourself. There is insufficient information to build anything more than a rough guess here. However, my gut says that you are really into this girl and she is not into you.

And what makes u say that i have self esteem issues.

You harmed your own well being to facilitate the well being of another without the slightest indication that they would appreciate it. You lie to us with ...

I've sacrificed so much and have done so much for her and have never expected anything back in return.

but more importantly, you lie to yourself. What you want in return is a relationship. What you get is nothing. Until you can face that yourself, this girl has free license to hurt you again and again. And there is a very good chance that she doesn't even know that she is doing that.

My advice remains the same. Drop the girl, get some therapy. Start building a relationship with yourself where you are happy with who you are.