I [21M] wrote a thing expressing how I feel to a female friend of mine [22F] who's been kind of closed off lately, and I was wondering if you guys could let me know if it sounds okay? I've been hanging out with her for about 8 months but we're not super close friends. (Not romantic.)

Your other friend sounds abusive as fuck. Seriously. From that letter, get a new friend, because he's not your friend.

I've been trying so hard to make another friend. But it's not easy. I thought it was happening with this girl.

But he's not abusive, he's just one of those guys who's constantly sarcastic and snarky. I've known him since I was 9 or 10. He's a brother to me, and he's been very supportive while I've been going through some of the psychological things I've been going through lately.

Your letter is all about you.

I guess, but I want her to know where I'm coming from. I can't exactly express that without talking about myself.

Your friend is pulling away

I don't know for certain that she is. It feels like she is to me, but I'm also really sensitive to this stuff right now. My friend has also reassured me that there's nothing wrong between us, at least not as far as she's expressed to him. I actually asked her about a month ago if I'd been bothering her at all and she said no.

When I'm with her, it doesn't feel like anything has changed. It's just when I'm trying to make plans that I get the feeling that she's backing away. She hugged me the other night and she hates hugs, know what I mean? I realize it sounds very cut and dry, but from my point of view, it's not. I just put a lot of emphasis on those aspects because I am really worried about it.

your other friend says she has stuff going on

My friend says she's been focusing on working on herself and that she's recovering from stuff that happened in December. If there is stuff going on, I don't know anything.

Is it possible that she's in a relationship with your other friend?

It's been discussed between them in the past, but as far as I know, no. I think my friend would have told me by now, to be honest, he's been really honest with me about that stuff so far. From what I understand, part of her focusing on herself includes not getting involved with anyone.

Hey, Girl. Just a line to say hi and see how you're doing. Our paths haven't been crossing lately and I miss you. I hope everything is okay with you - I'm here for you and if there is anything I can do for you, let me know. Hope we can get together soon! ~OP

I appreciate the advice but I feel like this misses the point of what I wanted to say a bit. I talk to her on a semi-normal basis, she knows she can talk to me if she wants (she doesn't), and we see each other pretty frequently. I want her to know that if it seems like I care a lot, it's because I do, but I want her to know why too.

/r/relationships Thread Parent