I [22 F] am worried about my boyfriend [28 M] staying strong for me and thereby not being open about his own feelings.

Yes. Permit me an overgeneralization for the sake of conversation. Men often do not cope with their troubles in ways that women do. My husband is one of those. When something upsets him I learned long ago not to pester him about it and ask "how can I help." He gets irritated and it makes it worse. Just say, one time, "I notice you seem to be struggling a bit the last few weeks. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?" He will either tell you there is or tell you there isn't. Whatever he requests (within reason), respect his wishes.

Obviously if it comes to a point where it's a problem that is affecting your lives and not going away, the rules will change, but for now just let him cope the way he wants to.

And of course, it doesn't hurt to do a few nice things just because, but don't make it about his feelings or making him feel better, make it about you letting him know he is important to you.

/r/relationships Thread Parent