Yes, that deviated quite a bit. I understand however why you may not want to answer some of my more personal and pointed questions. However I do appreciate the insight. I sort of figured that this was the case, trying to compensate or cope for other insecurities by engaging in a lot of sexual activity.

The answers for all this lie within you as a person. But eventually somebody will come along who will be understanding and supportive and help set some of the anxieties aside as far as “can somebody value me for more than just sex” is concerned. And “could anybody ever really love me while I’m dealing with this illness” is concerned.

It’s important to remember that you have to put yourself first and trust your gut. If you’re ever in a situation you know you should t be, just get up and walk the fuck out. Who gives a flying fuck what anybody says or thinks. Ya know?

I hope you start to feel better soon. And I truly hope that person comes into your life soon and helps you heal. I used to cut myself a lot, on my thighs and in my arm pits where I was sure people couldn’t see. Eventually I found a girl I trusted enough to be intimate with and I kind of forgot about them in that moment and when she saw them, I was embarrassed. But she didn’t judge me, and we’ve been together a long time and she’s helped me every step of the way. I have to do the “work” to stay healthy but when the load gets heavy she helps me carry it.