I [23/F] have never been kissed and I don't know what to do about it.

I don't think my comment in any way indicated that the negative outcomes are inevitable. I was trying to communicate that there is a high probability that a negative outcome will be experienced, I'm pretty sure that statistical data would probably back up this argument. My comment was also not attempting to use the bad side effects of medication as a justification for not trying them, rather as an explanation of why I am so intimidated at the prospect of trying medication. My mind on medication is not fully made up, I have denied medication in the past but that doesn't mean that I am against it.

to suggest that there are not thought patterns, practices and general life approaches that more conducive to productive and positive lifestyles is both defeatist and dismissive.

I, in no way, suggested that a positive lifestyle was worthless in someones plight with mental illness. I think you are downplaying the role of biology in this. I always acknowledged the role of agency; however, agency can not defeat biology - it simply can not. If you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, working out and eating right and doing X, Y or Z will not fix that chemical imbalance. Doing positive things can help improve some of the symptoms, but the underlying cause of the symptoms - the chemical imbalance - is still there. I think believing that agency is the end all be all is like telling someone that they just need to "get over it and be happy," it is like telling someone that their unhappiness is their choice. While I do not stand for a complete nature stance on this, I also refuse the nurture stance. For some people it can be solely nurture (thus situational depression); however, for those of us who deal with prolonged mental health problems it is likely a combination of both nature and nurture.

If nothing else, I just appreciate the honesty. Honesty is hard to come by.

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent