I [23/F] have never been kissed and I don't know what to do about it.

deny CBT style approaches because you don't believe they address the actual concerns.

I don't think I ever said I was against CBT...? (I'm not really sure how you arrived to that conclusion). As a matter of fact, I'm currently in therapy and have been going on and off for the past two years (as finances will allow). I do question how much it is helping me because I'm just a flat out skeptic of everything from mental illness treatments to my own existence at times; however, I'm still going because of the phenomenal lows I've hit that have prompted me to seek some form of treatment and try. I also don't think medication is something to be taken lightly, it is a heavy decision to consider - but I think that is just a point of departure in terms of how we view things. My views on medication are quite complicated, but, as I stated in my last post, discussing my views on evolutionary psychology, evolutionary medicine and medical anthropology, and how those things inform my decision and skepticism would take too much time to explain here (also, please note, that my skepticism of medication extends beyond psych meds and well into medication for other things as well).

I do agree with you that I have what you coined, a "complex formed by defensive thinking," but I'm not entirely sure how that applies to this specific conversation we are having (regarding mental health treatments). I know that there are many many ways in which I keep myself stuck in a place where I view myself as a passive agent with no power to change myself; however, I struggle to see how my view on mental health being something that has biological influences and my reluctance to take medications are up on that list...?

Perhaps we just agree to disagree?

There are many things you have said in which I fully agree with you. I probably do have some distorted lens through which I view myself and I do have shit self esteem and I do very much keep myself stuck in the same place through a variety of mechanisms, but I think our disagreement on mental health having a nature/nurture origin and treatments is just a stark point of departure in our individual ways of seeing things. Personally, I think both of them are valid.

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent