i stopped reading where you said your fiance would leave you if you got an abortion. PLEASE for the love of god i am begging you not to keep a child just so your partner will stay with you. your feelings of not wanting this kid wont change, and they'll feel it as they grow up. you have no idea how often my heart would sink to my stomach when my mother would tell me about how she wanted to pursue ballet, she wanted to become a singer, she wanted to go to college, but couldnt BECAUSE OF ME. i never asked her to have me, if i can go back in time and convince her to get me aborted, i would.

please, think of the kid. what kind of life is it when your mother only had you so her partner wouldnt leave her? not a good one. a kid doesnt want to grow up feeling resented, a kid doesnt want to grow up feeling like they're responsible for you missing opportunities in life. please just save them from the suffering, if you really want the abortion dont let your partner stop you. even if you do want the kid, i'd recommend just leaving your partner because as you said yourself, it seems like he cares more about the baby than you.