I(23M) belong to F (24F)

Now it used to be that she'd start when I tell her I'm going home at 10pm. We would still be at the parking lot, and not until 3am she might stop harassing me.

I know she's not examming me because I've asked her before and she's professed no and that I don't understand. Yet whenever I have recommended safe words she has politely declined.

Because I am no pushover, I've confronted her very seriously before and punished her in a way that her parents somehow seemed to have picked up on and approved. Afterwards she even said she respected me more for it which I've always told her is what we're lacking here: Respect!

I'm pretty sure she respects me now, though she keeps at it.

It's hard because I want to blame it on P.M.S. though no one P.M.S. 4 of 7 days every week.

I wish she would be more open about her desires.

One time I kind of spoke to the core of it because she was starting a fight like this in bed and I told her right then and there that she's being a shit domme and it stopped her. Even more so when I told her she couldn't be a domme she must be a switch because she doesn't like it when I respond dominantly to her displays of dominance, and she doesn't like it when I then pickup on her cue and be submissive for her instead.

The fact that she can't make up her mind there isn't the issue, it's that a pure domme would never be against a sub being submissive.

You can tell she's not a narcissist, she's not a player, she's just got these sadistic desires that are really ruining us and I just don't know how to get her to talk about it. A safe word at least would be acceptable if I cannot learn to recognize the signs before she begins.

My memory is very poor so I hope I can recognize the next time she tries to be sadistic, and remember to respond a new way that I have thought of just today. I hope it works.

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent