I [24 F] had a threesome with my boyfriend [26 M] and now I think he might leave me.

Ok yeah this is probably a huge cause of his reaction after the fact.

You don't need to answer this but just think about it - did you engage in any sort of after-care alone with your boyfriend after the threesome was over? I don't have experience with this stuff myself but from reading stories from other couples who engage in threesomes/group sex, this is a really important thing for maintaining the closeness and trust with your primary partner.

Basically you make sure to have intimate time alone with you partner afterwards - maybe just holding each other and cuddling, maybe sex, but the important thing is setting the time aside to remind one another that you are each other's first and only, and that your relationship is still the priority no matter how much you enjoyed having others present in bed. You take the time to focus on just the two of you.

I do completely understand that you were happy about having your fantasy fulfilled, and there is nothing wrong with expressing that you enjoyed it, but it sounds like you might have done so a little too much, and at a time when your bf really need you to just focus on him. Although admittedly, proper aftercare might not have stopped him ending up hurt & distant - hell you might have done all this for all I know.

I don't know what you can do fix it now, but I think you should ask if he wants to end the relationship. Either he does, in which case you bringing it up sooner prevents it from being drawn out and more painful, or he doesn't, in which case maybe that will open the conversation to talk about how you two can heal. But IMO you don't want to stay in this limbo, dreading the possibility of a break-up and unable to heal or move on.

I'm really sorry, for you and him, that it went this way.

/r/relationships Thread Parent