Ah wait--I probably shoulda been franker with this instead of just complaining about my past, there's a solid chance that I might actually just look way better in pics. Once a girl irl said I looked uglier irl, in motion, than in pics. My hopes were dashed tbh, even now hearing good feedback online does nothing for me. It's just empty. I think irl I might be beckylite on a good day? Seems accurate. I think I'm not that ugly nowadays...just...plain maybe, judging from general feedback, and I might be a healthcel more than anything. Really plan. And my poor social status/guys sometimes putting me down, simply from acting extremely meek and awkward. An easy target. I have a big body btw, wider than most guys around here. And worst skin. In retrospect I think I just was more visible, being around nothing but smaller skinnier girls...and ultimately...I'm just mediocre looking.
Plz don't cry. I already cry over seeing other girls all the time. Don't want to contribute to the vicious cycle! T_T