[24/M] potentially breaking up with [24/F] after 2 years. How to avoid an emotional meltdown?

I'm exactly like you and my own relationship ended almost 2 months ago now. After my last breakup I was an absolute mess. Thid time around, I knew we had to let one another go but it didn't make me any less devastated and I was literally having anxiety about how I was going to survive the emotional aftermath.

That said, what actually happened is that after that first breakup trauma I have found myself to be having a WAY EASIER TIME. I believe to the core of my soul that my ex and I are really meant to be together and I love him more than I ever loved the last one. Theoretically, this should mean that my devastation would be paramount, but it isnt and I believe its because I thought my world had ended the first time, and it didn't. Therefore, this time around, I am beyond sad and heartbroken, but I am also confident that I will find a great partner later down the line. That's the distinction here- I LOVE my ex, I am totally and completely heartbroken, I miss him every second of every day, everything reminds me of him... and yet I know that live goes on and I think that knowledge is extremely valuable in this sort situation.

Even with this knowledge, it HAS been hard, make no mistake. But I havent reached that point of total self destruction like I did before and its because I did things differently this time around. Instead of distracting myself from the pain with time spent elsewhere/the gym(although a very worthy pursuit)/partying/reinventing myself... I've just taken time to be by myself and be ME. In fact I sort of dared myself to spend A LOT of time alone. At first it REALLLLLLLLLY sucked, because it forces you to face your demons and your loneliness. But the difference I see in my emotional state has been huge. It took me about two weeks to start enjoying the time alone, and now, just 6 weeks out of a two year relationship, I am better than okay. Make no mistake, I still really miss him, but I refuse to lose myself to somebody else.

My best advice to you is to explore your weaknesses here. If you just distract yourself from the problem you are only going to prolong yoir suffering. Not to mention that it takes a lot of courage and self discipline to face your problems head on; doing this will make you stronger than ever. I've always been a serial dater, but for the first time in my life I am totally happy on my own and I have always wanted to be that way but thought it was beyond my emotional capacity. It wasn't... I simply had to have the courage to make myself suffer so I could come out on top. My next relationship is going to be with somebody who makes me actually want to sacrifice my awesome single life to be with them, which, if things continue on how they are, is going to be a hard thing to do.

Anyways best of luck to you. I resonated with your post because it could have been written by me a few months ago. Don't fear the future, do what you need to do now so that you won't feel this way ever again :)

/r/relationships Thread