You don't want a roommate and you don't need to have one financially.

Look into meetups, volunteering, organized clubs or sports, and other ways to meet friends. Focus on finding a best friend, because that is clearly what you want.

If you want someone in your home who is at your completed beck and call look into getting a dog (bonus, it won't ever be too busy on the phone for you) or a paid caretaker who is trained to provide friendship and emotional support (this is something that does exist for people with mental health issues and might be a better fit for you too given your expectations).

No fully functioning adult who is established in your area is ever going to meet the expectations of what you want in a roommate. The only way I see this happening for you is in the unhealthy situation of someone with their own emotional issues or if you get lucky with someone who is just moving to the area and doesn't yet have an established life outside of you (though even if that person does start out being what you want there is a good chance they will eventually branch out). The chances of you finding anyone who is a compatible roommate with your unreasonable expectations are slim to none.