I (24f) want to be spat on , slapped, pushed and choked during sex but partner refuses.

There are things that some people just aren't into, and you may have to accept that degrading you may be one of your partner's limits.

That said, sex - like most things in a relationship - has to be something of a compromise; you've obviously spoken about it, and he's said "no," but have you tried to stretch his boundaries a little less? Spanking instead of slapping, as a start? If he's comfortable with spanking your arse, maybe he'll be willing to slap your boobs, or face?

I don't know how you'd get him to spit on you, though. Choking, if you can get him into some light BDSM, might not be too hard. But it's a series of little steps, rather than plunging in to what you want. This may be for the best, you may well find your own limits aren't quite so far out as you expect, or you may find you both enjoy it and want to go further.

But it's all about communication, and negotiation. You may find yourself in a position where you have to weigh what you want against who you have, and sex is important. I'm not inclined to suggest a break up if he doesn't satisfy your every urge, but you may have to evaluate that at some point. I wish you luck.

/r/sex Thread