This strikes close to home for me! I was exactly that person years ago.. I cheated on two of my girlfriend and at the time I was struggling inside with unresolved trauma. My ex had ghosted me after 2 years and I never heard from her again. I took my anger out on others and I am deeply regret for the two years that followed. I lost my job, I lost friends and even my reputation. I went back to therapy and worked on myself.. even after that one of my ex decided to send me a video of her fucking somebody who I though was my bestfriend.. that stung. I hurt that girl deeply and forever. She will forever have trust issues. The best thing you can do is make amends with your past, and have self compassion. We fuck up, but as long as you aren’t dead, you can still recover. You’ve acknowledged your wrongdoings, you can’t change them but you make certain that they won’t happen again.