I [25 F] left everything; home state, family and friends to be with my fiance [25 M] of 8 years, I'm not sure it was the right decision.

Take a deep breath.

Look, I'm like you. I need things clean or I get stressed out. When I lived alone I deep cleaned my apartment every week and the place was always spotless. Now I live with a man, a dog, and two cats. Spotless is a thing of the past. And if you want to have children you are definitely going to need to loosen your standards for a clean house. Take a step back and evaluate what is essential and what isn't. Try to be patient with your fiancé and give him directions. You've acknowledged that you come from different lifestyles regarding cleaning so cut him some slack. As long as he's taking your directions and follows through when you ask him, don't be so hard on him. It doesn't come naturally for everyone. It sounds more like he's clueless than that he's being a jerk. He may honestly not realize that the house is messier than usual and that you need him to help.

As far as wedding planning, that's also not for everyone. Maybe he'd be more interested in choosing the music or the food than he is in flowers or color schemes. If not, maybe you have family or friends who would enjoy helping you. But it doesn't sound like you are enjoying the wedding planning. Can you keep it more simple?

Most importantly, is he doing other things to support you while you are grieving? Have you expressed to him what it is that you need or want from him? Everyone deals with grief differently. I don't think you made a mistake moving to be with him, but it really sounds like some communication and compromise would go a long way.

/r/relationships Thread