Some people are cool with open relationships; some are not. I'm a strictly monogamous bi person - I might think about what I'm missing, but I know from experience that I can't handle the emotional fallout so I don't try to swing.

I also don't want to scare you, but I had a similar conversation with a boyfriend once (we're both bi). I dropped him because he had said he wanted to be exclusive three months earlier, and I had been dating three other people with whom I had ended it. I found out later that he had already slept with these other people he was "asking permission" to bone. If he has a history of shitty, selfish behavior that you've been overlooking, it's very possible that he has already done this and is trying to cover his bases.

And I don't believe the gender of the extracirricular lovers matters, but that's really your call.

So, I guess I have two questions for you (well, two and a half).

First, are YOU emotionally okay with your partner having sex with anyone else? What if he starts sleeping with other girls, too? What if he starts dating a couple? What if he catches feels later on? Where is your line, and do you think he will respect it, or bend it until your opinion has ceased to matter?

As a follow-up to that, if you aren't on barrier birth control, you will have to get (back) on it. You will have to get regular STI tests, including for AIDS. Is that OK with you?

Not everyone can be poly, and that's OK. Other people can be poly, and that's OK, too. Trying to force yourself into going along with a situation you don't like (especially one relating to your love life) can be really emotionally damaging, so it's important that you are being honest with yourself here.

Second, is what's good for him good for you? Are you allowed to sleep with other people? Run it by him, even if you're straight. If you are straight, this "guys only" thing might be a way to frame the rule so it's OK for him but not you. If you think there's a double standard going on here, my advice is to dump the shitheel.