once upon a time,

I was on mushrooms a while back, sitting in my room, in the dark, zoning out really hard to some very intricate visuals I was imagining. This is the last time I ate shrooms, actually. Probably like six years ago. I was there with my ex, but we were in totally different worlds. Me perched on the edge of the bed, her laying down on the other end.

I imagined what looked like a living X-ray of a dog, standing upright, on a mountain top, masturbating furiously with his two front paws. He was mostly skeleton, but I could see the outline of his body and his muscle structure overlaying his frame with partial transparency. His testicles were enormous. My vision was somewhat synesthetic in that my excitement and wonder from seeing something so ridiculous and processing it was experienced, in parallel, as the building and subsequent climax of this dog's orgasm.

so he ejaculated, and immediately this entire scene was a brilliant volcano eruption in vibrant color against a backdrop of cloudy skies. The lava gushed with an incredible realism, commanding my full attention as it eroded its own canals down the slope of this mountain face, turning solid rock into wet mud in its wake. I absolutely could not tear my eyes from the intricate behavior of this liquid. The physics of the flowing magma was far more compelling to me than even its vivid appearance.

so okay. I'm here completely engaged. Watching this lava spill all over itself. I start seeing strange forms and patterns emerge from this molten mass. Suddenly I'm looking at assorted flower petals floating on the surface of water. Then feathers blowing. Then caterpillars crawling all over each other. Then an incredible volume of Lucky Charms cereal churning in milk, speckled with huge, colored marshmallows shaped like dicks.

this is way too absurd for me by now. I burst into uncontrollable laughter out of nowhere. Get my bearings a little bit, realize where I am, yadda yadda. I look over and the first thing I see is my ex, face buried in a pillow, crying. Having a terrible time. And I just made it worse. I can't help but laugh even harder at this point. This is definitely the funniest thing that could possibly happen as far as I'm concerned. Eventually this girl gets up, all pissed off. Leaves the room without looking at me. Slams the door in my face. The whole rest of the night, we were arguing.

the end.