An update on my story.
İ thought about what is "really" going on.
And i figured it all out.
Since day one with my GF. She loved me for what i am. and what my past was.
İ am not an extreemist or anything. and i used to talk to alot of girls but not in a bad way. like at work or a neighbor and i didn't have any problem with that.
My GF loved me for who i am. and didn't mind my contact with other girls in a respectful and formal way.
After a while of knowing each other, she wanted -and i offered and accepted- me to change who i am.and to stop ALL contact with any type of females.
She was crazy on this thing and i didn't say no.
So i changed myself for her.
But now, after thinking about what happened. I realized that it's not a second love and nothing like that.
It's just that acting against my social natureand cutting my contact with all females had a really bad effect on me.
Because my GF made me think that all girls are forbidden. So i unconsciously started seeing all girls are something wrong or are for emotions and for being loved and like that.
So, I started feeling depressed over the years. And every girl i see, i feel the need of love.(not sex, love).because acting against my nature and going along with what my GF wants made me think like that.
So, i just called my GF and told here this.and i told her the only solution is for you to accept me for what i was.
Acting against my nature made me depressed and had that effect on me.
So, the only way to not hurt you or other people.and the only way for me to not marry more than one. Is for you to accept me for who i am. Which is a person who loves only one woman,andmarry only one woman.And treats other women as friends and with respect.
because that's who i am. I love to have one woman to love and care for and marry, but i also don't mind socialising and talking respectfully and formally with other females, away from any desire or wrong feelings.
She accepted my offer and my talk.
And now I'm gonna be friends with the other girl. because that's who i am. I love to give gifts to people and share respect.
I don't love the other girl and i will tell my GF about her.
I want her as a friend and i want to be near her as a friend when she needs me.