A - Jon Kabat Zinn - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJjyrzqkXrE&index=21&list=RD4vgKzXdwtRE **this is a playlist and I am starting you with an intro video. However on this playlist there are also actual meditations.
B - Thich Nhat Hahn - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bC8FBdWwejk - Refreshing our hearts
Louise Hay - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BMEq0O7qLW0 - Meditations to heal your life.
Also, man. Not sure how your upbringing affected any spiritual beliefs you have but if you have them... Don't blame God. Religion is not God and God is not religion. I wont get into a big discussion about this here, but if you have questions about that aspect you can PM me.
Anyway, this list will keep you busy and help you tackle your shit. Trust me. I came from a shitty place too. My youth was an emotional mess. I had some problems too, but the good news is, I went through some healing and took 1000s of hours of self-change work on myself to heart. :)
So here is the benefit I will share with you now. Just remember to keep the chain going should you be in the position as giver and come across someone else in need.
Anyway, it is a lot but don't get overwhelmed. Look at your life as a ongoing process of change, becoming stronger and healing. The more you heal the stronger you become and once so, you will be all the stronger because of it.
If you have any questions feel free to ask.
Again - NO DRUGS. I don't care. If you see a therapist that says to start, drop that fucker like dirty shirt. Drugs only mask the problem, they don't address it.
Oh and as a bonus:
Read the Tao Te Ching. Take your time, don't rush through it.
Maybe even add Deepak Chopra - 7 spiritual laws of success. A short but powerful book.
Enjoy