I almost feel guilty for entering because this community has shown me so much gratitude. But I have to put my pride to the side because it took me to the age of 30 to start to really honestly make progress turning my life around. I went from being an ex con with nothing but a record. Then a ged, career certificates, courses to get certified in the home remodeling trade. Went from no car no home and money to starting a job @ $8 per hour to as much as $45 when I did electric which was not offten. But primarily 22.5. Although I did side jobs and was respected loved and counted on by my family and friends. Always wanted kids but had a rare set of tumors removed while I was incarcerated in st Louis prison in MI. Which can be researched. Everyone was getting sick. I always wanted kids. Can't have them. But my neice lost her father and I got close with my exes son when he was a baby and now he's goin on 9 and I have weekends and holidays. I was someone everyone could count on and was the person they called when they really needed someone. Then Christmas time 2018. I was remodeling a bathroom. The customer was out of town and they were my very first customer that I did work for by myself. I cut my hand open. It got infected and led to a surgery which led to a blood infection and another infection to the wound from the surgery. Damaged tendons and a loss of nerve and tendon function for a ll most a year. Just started to get back on track then covid. I still work but it's hit and miss and the last Christmas I wanted to die. I couldn't even buy a gift. I would work any day but it's still hard and everyday is a struggle and it hurts cause I was someone. Someone to ppl that mattered. My family and the kids. I will never go back to bad ways but I just wanna hide cause I can't hold my own weight. It will get better and I won't give up. I jus hope I can last. But you all are great ppl and the world needs to take notice. Tjank all you guys for your help.