I wouldn't say he was cold. He just didn't obviously show sexual interest in me until he initiated the kiss. But in terms of personal connection he was very into it, we talked a lot and he didn't just talk about himself, he listened to me and set the tone of the conversation so that I felt like an equal participant, not just an ear for a successful man's boasts.

But your description sounds exactly like what happened. Unreadable, suddenly sweeps me off my feet, extremely intense, as if I'd been winded - it's aaall there. So despite my instinctive defensive reaction (natural, since I like him), I do feel like you might be right.

Ie, that your place in his heart is both miraculous and precarious, and you have to prove yourself to him if you want a chance to keep him.

Good lord, this is exactly what was on my mind yesterday when I debated initiating contact with him. It's shocking to me that I feel this way after not even wanting to have anything to do with him, and now that you put it this way it does feel like I'm a bit of a fish being reeled in right now. The only problem is I'm not sure how much of it is actually his intention, and how much is my own capacity for bad choices, haha.

I highly doubt you have as little visual appeal as you say, but regardless of how you look, the way you describe yourself doesn't sound like you're proud of yourself or confident in general, even about things that aren't related to appearance.

I know I'm absolutely a catch personality-wise, but there haven't been many people in my life who actually wanted me just for my personality. And this situation really does feel like he actually likes me for the person that I am, and I find it hard to believe - not only due to my self-esteem issues regarding my appearance, but also because I'm just... skeptical that connections like this can happen without massive prior interpersonal involvement, like a long-term friendship. That being said, I too like him for his personality and not looks.

Thank you so, so much. You've been invaluable here and made some incredibly astute observations about a complete stranger. I really, really appreciate it and will be thinking about the things you said. Thanks again.