I [25F] denied my boyfriend's [26M] proposal to move in together unless he makes some financial changes. Am I being manipulative?

The things you mention are pretty minor in the overall scheme of things, especially since neither of you are lacking in basic needs.

It's rare to find a partner that is a perfect fit, and even if you do, there's a good chance they will change over time. What to look for in a partner, IMO, would be, can you trust him? Does he treat you with respect? Do you each support each others goals? What you are mentioning seems nit-picky to me (aside from the wasting food, that really is a bad habit.) If he likes the Morton logo, then sure, spend an extra .49 cents and buy Mortons. Just hope he never discovers Le Saunier De Camargue Fleur De Sel Sea Salt at $2.68 an ounce. Best salt ever.

You say you want a nice house, vacations, etc. See if you can agree on a shared budget for the things you will share, but know, you do not get to manage his money, his spending. Generally couples talk through big items that are purchased, not the little stuff, unless money is tight. Save you money for the big ticket items you want, but don't try and micromanage his spending, it will not end well.

See how well you share finances, rent, utilities, etc. See if you can save for trip. Give it a year, you're not happy, well, you'll at least know for sure.

/r/relationships Thread Parent