I [25F] want to move on to the next step in my 4 year relationship , but the boyfriend [24M] doesn't. I'm thinking of ending the relationship, need advice. :(

I've read some of these comments and see how people think he's not being unreasonable with his excuses.

I was nearly in the same boat only difference is I'm a female. My parents threatened not to pay for my college when I wanted to move from the Mid-West to the East Coast to be with my SO.

They threatened to get rid of my pets (as I discussed with them I wasn't going to be able to take them with me right away) and a number of other shitty things. Like my mom taking all the money out of my bank account when I actually did just buy a plane ticket and leave (she was a partial owner of my account, though none of the money in it was hers, it was mine from working/extra FASFA money I didn't use and was saving.)

Regardless of his parents holding weight over his head, its his decision to make. My SO is 29 I'm 23, he's started his life has an amazing software engineering job and was never pressuring me to move in with him. He did however explain the age difference between us and what it meant, he did say he wouldn't wait around forever for me as well. Which was not rude, it was reality. And I made the decision. Yeah, I had my parents threatening to stop paying for college and doing all kinds of other shitty things, but I wanted to be with him. I was treated like a little kid too, I am the baby out of the girl siblings in my family so I've always been babied but it continued into my adulthood, and it was annoying.

So through all the threats, I finally had enough. My parents stripped me of my vehicle and started driving me to and from school/work. So then planning started. I figured out what I needed to do to transfer colleges, and took care of all of that, once that was taken care of I put my two weeks in for my job and bought a one way plane ticket. The morning I left I pretended to call in sick from my job had a friend pick me up and take me to the airport once my parents left and viola.

I had to make a tough decision, but after talking with my older sister, she helped me, tremendously. I needed to remove myself from underneath my parents thumb. If I let them they would keep me there forever. At first things were really bad, like I said my mom was a co owner of my bank account and she was able to withdraw all the money I had in there and close the account completely. Which she did. My dad was also really sour about it, but now a year later things have smoothed over. I go home for birthdays/holidays call them every day and facetime them. My mom gave me all of my money back and extra as well. And also, I had the support of my boyfriend who told me he would help me get back into school and help me find a job as well. And they weren't just empty words, he got me a job with the company he works for and helped me get back into school.

Your boyfriend needs to make a choice. And you need to make it apparent to him that you dont want to sit around for another 4-6 years and wait. Don't do it ultimatum style or anything, but just have him keep in mind that you don't want to date a little kid that can't be honest with his parents about when he's sleeping over at his girlfriends. I mean I moved half way across the country for my SO lol the least he could do is be honest about staying the night with you.

/r/relationships Thread