Hey random stranger!

I read a lot of these posts because I enjoy studying psychology. You post here looking for actual advice and all you will get is a, "end it now bro". If that is what you are looking for than you came to the right place. I am looking in on a fragment of your life with this person. A mere sliver. Bedroom issues and non existent sexuality usually never stems from the bedroom. It comes from outside the bedroom and is brought into it. We are sexual beings. It is easy to want sex with your partner- not get any- and them blame it on them for LL. Is LL a thing? Yes. Psychology is also a thing too.

Now again. I'm looking in on a story. I'll tell you what I see if you are still reading. Let me start with an example. Say if me and you were both at the same dealership shopping for cars (stay with me. I'm going somewhere with this example) and you and I spotted the exact car of our dreams at the exact same time. We both ran up to it thinking that we finally found it. You put your hand on the car admiring its beautiful curves and I in the driver seat feeling how safe I'd feel if I got this ride. We notice each other. I reply, "hey. This is my car. I'm going to buy it. Sorry you missed out." You give me a look of astonishment, "um. No. I want this car. I spotted it before you. I have wanted this car for so long." 

See. At this point we both want the same thing but for different reasons. We don't know those reasons, but it is evident by the way we are looking at it.

Let's say I get what I want. The car. Or. The before bedtime snuggles. Let's say the dealership opted in my favor and gave me the car even though we both wanted. You are going to be filled with animosity. I'd be happy if I made it out without you slashing my tires. Every time you see me on the road you will be filled with a grudge of an emotion. A constant reminder you didn't get what you wanted.

Let's look at it the other way. I get the car. You have a choice. You can say, "fuck her and that car. I hope the tranny falls out when she is going down hill." Or.... Maybe just or you could say, "this is a really nice car. I'm glad you got what you wanted. Can you show me how it drives so I can know it better for when I finally find what I want?" 

...... Hmmm. I can give you two reactions. Which ones will get you closer to what you want. Psychology isn't a trick or a ploy. It is making every situation a win win. It also takes patience and listening. You need to talk with her but remember to not talk AT her. Talk with her. So often people have a talk that starts with "why don't you ever" and continue to fill up the conversation for what they think is wrong. You asked a question and tried to answer it yourself. How far did that get ya. So. Open the line of communication. Listen to her.

Okay. You got lucky. My iPad is about to die and I'll quit typing. Don't be the guy who tries to quit smoking with others who are smoking. It won't work out. That's what is place is. Good luck bud!