I [26F] need to lose weight but my fiancé [32M] needs to gain weight. It’s putting a strain on our relationship- what are ways we can navigate this?

So you have a very similar situation to my own. My wife was overweight (80lbs) with hypothyroidism, I have hyperthyroidism but I was never underweight (weight training and active lifestyle so I never had an issue with eight l weight) so I can at least give something of a practice l perspective for you fiance.

I would be very delicate with this. While most won't voice it, a lot of men do care about their appearance and weight. If this applies to your fiance then tread carefully as if I was critiqued about my appearance in a cold manner my reaction might be worse than normal. Good role of thumb, if you would react poorly to someone saying it to you, assume he will do the same.

Next, your fiance likely has the eating habits he has because it is draining as hell at times living with hyperthyroidism. It's not always "full of energy", it's often "I did not sleep well at all" and "I feel like I'm running on an empty tank". Sugar and caffeine are easy fixes for this feeling, as is eating a lot. With proper medication this should level out over time and if he's aware of it his eating habits hopefully will adjust. It is a huge quality of life increase too be on medication, do not make the same assumption my wife did and assume hyperthyroidism is a boon.

This will be a team effort. You need to work on your control, he needs to support that and fix his own habits. If you put it on either one alone, you both will fail.

/r/relationships Thread